A cautionary tale: this is what happens when you spend too much time on social media.
On Thursday, I tweeted about my lunch at Burgerville. Technically, I guess it was a sub-sub-tweet, since I didn’t mention the name of the restaurant or even the specific food items (pepper bacon cheeseburger, waffle cut fries, chocolate milkshake). Anyway. My fellow Portlandians Wink and Brian added their own remarks, and then Larry cascaded it into a very cheesy conversation.
Meanwhile, on Facebook—where my tweets get auto-cross-posted—others continued the ad hoc comedy workshopping. And because I have nothing better to do on a Friday night than answer Puzzled Pint e-mails and watch Downton Abbey, I decided to turn my hasty sketch into something more suitable for Thomas to post in his kitchen.
Here’s the original:
And now (drum roll, please) the new hotness:
The pictured foodstuffs are (top to bottom, left to right):
- Hot Sauce: Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce
- Beer: Puzzled Pint (logo by Victor Asteinza; not actually food, but definitely a Portland institution!)
- Whiskey: Eastside Distilling Burnside Bourbon
- Butter: Tillamook Butter
- Caffeine: Stumptown Coffee Cold Brew “Stubby”
- Chocolate: Moonstruck Milk Chocolate Mayan Bar
- Fat: raw bacon (stock photo by Floortje)
- Salt: J&D’s Bacon Salt (actually a Seattle company, but I’ll allow it because BACON SALT)
- Starch: Kenny and Zuke’s Pastrami Cheese Fries (photo by Robyn Lee for Serious Eats)
- Sugar: Voodoo Doughnut Maple Bacon Bar
I’m not sure when in the process the diagram became Portland-specific, but it just felt right. Also note that everything is covered in cheese because come on why wouldn’t you do that.
If this infographic amuses you, <zoidberg>HOORAY!</zoidberg> And Happy Valentine’s Day? Feel free to share the permalink: http://snout.org/pfp
So that happened.
This concludes tonight’s episode of How’s Curtis Wasting His Goddamn Time Now? Come back next week for more frivolity. Or just follow me on Twitter if you simply cannot wait that long.