Dear Entire Freaking World,
Please stop overusing the word “miracle.”
You know what I’m talking about. Ever since US Airways pilot Chesley B. Sullenberger safely landed his crippled Airbus A320 in the Hudson River, saving the lives of all 155 passengers and crew, you’ve been calling it a “Miracle on the Hudson.”
Excuse me. Human achievement is not a miracle. If there were any Catholics here, they’d be giving you dirty looks.
And if you’re thanking God for saving those people, you should also be cursing Him for putting those birds into the engine in the first place. Or maybe you believe it was Basement Cat who did the bad thing, or that Ceiling Cat just moves in mysterious ways?
Yeah, it’s nice that you think every soul on the planet is just a pawn to be sacrificed in some mystical cosmic power struggle. I’ll thank you not to devalue my entire existence.
That plane landed safely, and all the people aboard are still alive, because the entire flight crew was on the stick. Give some credit where it’s due, for cryin’ out loud. Show some respect for your fellow humans. You’re going to have to deal with us a lot more often than you deal with any supernatural beings.
Hugs and kisses,
P.S. Please calm down before the inauguration tomorrow. You know who you are.